On the left is Matisse as a kitten. He is one of the principal characters in this work in progress.Today is sometime in December 2007, but for a while I have been typing up my notes about when I moved to and lived in a small house near a wood in Poggio, near Bracciano in Italy. This is a notebook that I will come back to and edit, change, add to and add photos.
It is 8.03 or 7.59, depending on which clock I look at. Roberto came last night to look at the stuff I would be asking him to carry. He says it will be one load. He was full of doom and gloom about how it would cost me more and how “they” would steal my computer or my saddle. He was laughing though, when I talked of the horse, the sheep and the three dogs and three cats. He tells me that I can put as many horses in the field as I want as long as I feed them hay.
I took Matisse to the vet to be castrated. Dreadful, since there will now be no kitties in the future with Matisse’s genes. On the other hand, he will not go missing for days on end (hopefully) and will not catch cat leukaemia and cat AIDS. I took him to the sweet vet, who threw me out and told to come back in an hour. So I went to the horses.
Lele had me take Mary Rose out to the field with them. I should tell them when I am premenstrual because I think it affects how the horses are. Once three or four escaped. Yesterday Mary Rose was running circles around me with her tail held high. It did not help that 47, as they call the colt, was not on the lead rope. I was wearing the wrong shoes, which amounted to having a pair of slippers on in the mud. I decide that when I leave the house I must wear boots, since I don’t know where I will be headed after I close the front door.
The folks who will be taking over my apartment will be moving in on the first of February. I want to move in next Thursday.
Matisse was so floppy when he came back from the vet. I’d been told to keep him in the cage until he was fully awake. He battered at the cage door, so I let him out thinking he was more awake than he was. He reminded me of myself when I’m ill and know I should be able to do something and then can’t. He leapt up on the chair and fell sideways, so I ended up putting him back in the cage where he started battering again. When I took him out of the cage, I realised how cold he was so I hugged him under the bed covers until Mario, the landowner came, then lost the cat and found him again still under the covers.
Slowly, slowly I am dismantling this house. I will put everything in one room at the other house. I will need all sorts of furniture. I already have two tables there and any amount of plates. Someone must have been there yesterday, because the shutters had been hooked back so they would not flap in the wind.
Vincenzo, my new landlord, called and told me the horses could go in the field because the fence was up. I’m still not clear about keeping the horses there because I’ll need feed and now Remo is doing a complicated mush of bread, maize, wheat bran and I don’t know what else; winter feed. I have never fed a horse anything. Just grass and they were fat all the same. I am told that horses are healthier if they are kept out.
Wednesday 15 January
I went to Poggio with Claudio. He will have someone come and paint the bedroom, which will be mine, studio and office or spare room if I have guests. He said I would have to change the window because it looks like a bullet went through it. There was water on the floor in the kitchen and I don’t know if it is because I turned the tap on when the water was frozen in the pipe, or if there is a leak. I want to be able to lock the bedroom door. The room is green and it’s a shame they’d not painted it pink, the same as the living room and the other bedroom.
Flora called, she tells me that I won’t be able to flop out of bed and get on the train anymore or go and sit in a bar and have a coffee. True about the first, but I have never gone to have a coffee in a bar unless I am in a tearing hurry. She tells me that it will be more difficult to get into
Thursday 16 January
I’m sitting up in bed at the old house. Matisse is playing with his new favourite toy, the plastic covered bag tie. Under the bed I found a collection of three neatly placed bottle caps. Are cats related to squirrels? Was my cat a bird dog in his last life?
Liza came yesterday and said he seemed more nervous than usual. I said it is not his fault because it is me who is hysterical.
Yesterday I went to Poggio, fed the dogs who were not interested in eating, and put up my paintings, most of the small ones. They are almost all up and I have room to spare. I was waiting for the telephone people to show up; one who did was beautiful. First he was telling me they would need to dig trenches because the phone line is 30 years old. I know, I said. Eventually they found another way. There is a pole in the middle of the field, but it is very wobbly all around. They also tell me there is a second line to the house.
I found a card referring to non-delivery of a registered letter in the old letter box and a cigarette butt on the ground. The postino must be a smoker.
Roberto my friend, who does landscaping tells me he may give me his horse to train. I don’t know where he gets the idea that I can do this. I know I can. I would need a round pen, which would make things a lot easier.
I felt so happy yesterday because it was such a beautiful day. However, I’d found the house open, even the front door. The bathroom stinks of that old, damp smell I know from
I know that I’ll get used to the cold and know if I’m moving around outside it’ll be different to being inside. I have not lit a fire yet, this is to come. First I want to find a place to put the woodpile.
Friday 17 January
Pat had been meaning to fly by and drop off liver she had prepared for Matisse. He was not ready to eat when she came. I see that food will sit there during the day unless I’m around for lunch then, when he gets tired of fighting me for what is on my plate, he’ll eat out of his bowl on the floor.
Matisse was very sweet with Pat. She had her elbow on the table and he put his head on her arm. He then bit her. I told her that he’ll bite me and then immediately lick me. “Ohhh” she speaks for Matisse, “my teeth slipped”.
Last night he went mad and galloped all over the place, growling. I only hope he gets on with the dogs and cats. I’ll ask at the riding shop about a paddock blanket for Mary Rose. I think I have decided to bring Rais and Mary Rose here and then Sully.
Pat says I must think of me first. I am not to think of renting to anyone. She tells me how she prepared her spare room for people to come and visit and no one came. Only two in the whole time she has been there. She apologises for “harping” on at me. I tell her I don’t mind because I’ve started to listen to advice only recently, so I enjoy it. I don’t say that it is equally easy for me to switch off and have the words wash over me like the warm flowing water of a sun drenched river. I enjoy it either way.
I have found that it is better to go to the house in the afternoon when the grandmothers are walking the children. They pause at the open gate and look in. When I’m living at Poggio it will be nice if the children come and play bringing their grandmothers with them.
Poggio means hillock. I thought it meant a place to lean on, but that is appoggio. Suddenly, I am all excited about buying a rake for the garden.
Little cat is peaceful, leaning up against my left leg. He is having a small day, sometimes he looks small and today is one of those days.
Saturday 18 January
Judith called and said they would help me move on Sunday. I’ll pull out my larger things, paintings, ironing board, chairs and box of linen.
Roberto said I could keep Rais and Sully together as long as they’re separated. I’m not sure that Sully respects electric fences. She needs a place to give birth, says Remo. I need hay for the horses, two, I’m leaning towards Rais and Merry (Mary Rose).
I have been trying to fix under the sink at Poggio. I called Claudio and told him I was going into competition with him. He started to laugh and said that when he needs a plumber he’ll call me. He was back to his normal self, his back had been giving him a lot of pain. I also had to ask him a bunch of stuff for new neighbours who do not yet speak Italian.
My little cat is curled up tight in a ball. He does not let me sleep beyond
I have decided not to take the horses to Poggio until I have moved there completely. I hope this will be next week, so I need hay and I need to learn about the feed. I will find out about the cover for Mary Rose, but I don’t think any horse enjoys being in a box. Although, Rais seems to like it. These stalls are too short for him, because they were originally built for cows.
When I got to Poggio yesterday only the two big dogs were there, Cherokee is the blond one and Navaho the dark. I have called the smaller wiry one Dakota. I found him later and he followed the car. Then he was off again. He is not my dog. I understand that a person in
Sunday 19 January
As I was at the house yesterday, Claudio showed up. He told me bits and pieces of information about the neighbours. I asked him if he had been a police officer. He has. More to the point, he took the bits and pieces I’d been struggling with under the sink and in seconds had it right. He could have done this with his eyes closed. He then took me to talk to the new neighbour about the stable he wanted to build. It got smaller as we spoke.
Matisse is curled up on the bed, the little green mouse beside him. He had been playing with it putting it into packets and suitcases that I’m getting ready for my move.
The small, black dog did not show his face. Claudio tells me that big black dog doesn’t have much time left. I say if he is suffering I will have him put down, which surprises Claudio. I don’t believe animals (or humans) should suffer unnecessarily. I think I might change when faced with a real situation.
Monday 20 January
I want to buy a tin pot to make coffee over an open fire and a tin pan to fry an egg. I want to buy a couple of hurricane lamps and a roll around heater.
I spoke to my friend in
I have become allergic to people telling me how busy they are. This is because I have worked with people who are really busy and they never remark on how busy they are, and they always have time for one more thing. When I get cross if someone tells me they are busy, I wonder if it’s because I’m jealous!
Judith helped me with my paintings, she liked them. She noticed scratches on the abstracts that should not have been there. She liked my “topsy turvy” painting and looked at it a long time. I really like it too. It is very happy and I feel it is one of my breakthrough paintings.
I cleaned out the drawers in the kitchen and Matisse got inside and slipped from one drawer into the next as I did them. We panicked for a second or two when we thought he would not get out again without a major intervention form a carpenter. I wonder if this has cured him of getting into drawers. I somehow doubt it.
Tuesday 21 January
Today I heard a fighter jet pass overhead. During the Kosovo war there seemed to be a steady stream, less so during the
I went to the house with a load of nothing in particular and found Vincenzo the landlord already there. I fed the dogs, but they don’t seem to be hungry, or the food I am giving them is not to their liking. We used to make our own dog food, cornmeal, leftovers and gravy. Vincenzo was just sitting down to his lunch and invited me to join him, I could not as I had not given myself much time.
I suddenly realised it had been 12.20 for a very long time. Vincenzo doesn’t wear a watch. As I was driving away Pat called and asked me where I was. We had an appointment to go to our painting class in Viterbo with Rolando. We were fifteen minutes late leaving, but it didn’t matter. Rolando was pleased to see us as we’d not made it the week before. We now know that each three hour class costs 15 euro and we will pay as we go.
In this class Roland shows me how to melt the rabbit-skin glue and mix it with gesso di
I don’t know what Matisse is up to. He is the same colour as a magpie, so he has found an attractive, brightly coloured metal shiny object to play with. He is now on the bed snapping his jaws together, maybe he is licking his lips. I wonder if he waits for me to leave so that he can play until he is exhausted.
Wednesday 22 January
I am feeling quite down as I realise how little money I have. I should not have bought the rest of Sully but, at the time, I thought work was on the way.
Saw Remo and told him I want Rais and Mary Rose with me. I don’t know what to do about Sully, I don’t even know if Remo managed to sell Cornelia.
Today I built my first fire in this house. I hope the electrician is coming because I must find my black tape to seal off the live wires.
My little cat is looking at me. I called him and I thought he wouldn’t come but he did. He knows his name. I ask him what he is up to? He looks away, if only he could explain. He may think I would not be pleased. Sometime he is making such a noise I have to go and look and see what he has found. Most cases it is something I can leave with him. There is always a moment, a pause, as he waits to see if I will pounce on his toy. Last night he lost the white plastic bag tie we had been playing with – fetch – and he came bounding across with a minute piece of paper, which he triumphantly dropped beside me. Pieces of paper do not throw as far as plastic, and this was so small it got lost very quickly.
Thursday 23 January
I was down at Remo’s for a flying consultation. He said Sully, Merry and Rais can all be together. He will transport first Sully and Mary Rose and then Rais, who was being shod.
The phone company called while I was down by the horses. They waited for me to find them. There were three men in a big truck and they were all afraid of the dogs. They made appreciative sounds as I calmed their barking. I felt very protected, finally the dogs allowed the men to come in. These telephone men knew nothing about the ADSL line, so again I have to call the phone company.
I helped Vincenzo put zinc on the beautiful weathered barn. I’d have preferred to put it up on the inside so that it would not have been so visible. He made a door into the back of the barn and then put a bar across it at horse chest height, so, I’m not too sure what the idea is. He tells me that two horses can feed in the field for ten days. OK.
Friday 24 January
Yesterday the horses came and yesterday I found a rectangle of ground being prepared for a vegetable garden.
The telephone men called themselves on their cell phone from one fixed line they found at the house. The other I found in my telephone book, an old one for the previous tenant. I called it and it worked. Then the phone rang again, I picked up the receiver and heard someone say in a rough Italian voice, “Its been rented, come here…”. Not as though they wanted to talk to me or anyone on the end of the line, but as though they wanted to confirm something.
Matisse is in an extra playful mood, scratching and biting and trying to squeeze under the book as I write. He seems to think my feet have nothing to do with me and attacks them with impunity which, in the Oxford Concise Dictionary (1989), means “being exempt from punishment, or from injury as consequence of act”. I never actually knew this was what it meant although I had a feeling.
Too quiet now and I wonder where he’s got to. Here he is cleaning the pad of his back paw. He must have had his breakfast because he was also licking his lips and now he’s back with his big round eyes trying to grab my writing hand.
Saturday 25 January
The third day of strong winds.
Went to Ceveteri with Pat, I did not know I was so tired. If she had not been there I would have rolled home again without buying anything. She first took me to “Bamboo House”, which I found very expensive. Then we went to “Mondo Convenienza”, which is more in my price range. The two paintings I sold will barely cover the chest of drawers I found there along with the metal bed frame for my futon. It is interesting that this store messes up its displays with the kind of junk regular people or children might leave around. You open a cupboard and may find something inside, so they won’t always be open and sad looking. My chest of drawers looks big, ugly and unwieldy and so looks perfectly beautiful to me. They call it arte povero.
The electrician came to look at the work. I did not find the experience entirely positive. He was telling me how expensive he found the place, with the land. Remo and Donato seem to think the price is good. He said some amusing things, but I am not sure he was making a joke. He said he could change the box supplying electricity to the house for something a little more modern. He told me the light with the hanging wire on the porch was “Neopolitan”. He advised me not to spend money because the house owner should be doing that.
The wind blusters outside. The horses must be wondering where their feed is. Rais used to get alfalfa whenever he felt like eating it, then he went to Remo’s and ate anything they gave him. Now he holds his mouth in a disapproving way and won’t let me touch him. He will let me close enough to touch his nose. At this time I have only the old hay in the barn to give to the horses.
Sunday 26 January
The move from the old place to the new place went smoother than expected. The woman from the clothing store had parked her SUV between two shops, the dry cleaners and the one selling sun tans. She left at one and I took her place, then Roberto came a little after
I spent the night at the new place. The bed took a long time to warm up, no doubt because of its short trip in the van and that it is still resting on cold tile. Roberto it turns out owns a cute, medium-sized truck, which would explain why a man driving a truck blows his horn at me as we pass each other going in opposite directions.
Thinking of my paintings, I decide to sign them on the back before I start them so that when people like them they can buy them if they are finished or not.
Last night there was the banging of wood on wood. The dogs barked a couple of times and the door of the bedroom creaked and tapped as if it had been pushed open by gusting wind entering the house. Now, it’s cold and silent. I thought of making a fire, of getting dressed enough to go out and check on the horses, break ice in the water trough and feed the dogs if they ate the food I put down.
Who knows if the banging in the night was from bones being thrown down for the dogs. Some of the banging was caused by an exploring Matisse. The good thing about having a cat is that I can always say the scary noise is the cat. This does not work in the night when I know the cat is on the bed.
Anyway, I notice that the gate into the driveway can be locked. It remains to be seen if I can find a key to fit the lock. There are all sorts of light switches. I think the previous tenant must have had carpets because how else could you live through the cold winter on these fake marble floors. This is a house built for summer, not winter.
Monday 27 January
The electricity seems to get turned off when I’m away and when I’m not using anything in the house. It remained on with the heating, three lights and me using an electric burner all day. So, why does it go off? Unless someone turns it off on the road? I think I heard the box click off during the night. I’ve found the key to the gate along with three other keys.
This morning, after turning the electricity back on, I checked the horses. They are in what seems to be their bedroom. They seem to be there when they want to rest. It is way in the farthest corner of the field away from the house, closer to the neighbours. I wonder if the dogs won’t let them near the barn. There was a lot of barking around
The cold here is biting. I put the heat on, but I think I must close all the doors so the rooms heat up. I see even Matisse shivers. At night he bats me on the nose with his paw to make me move over, or I lift the covers so he can scrabble down inside.
I would like to see if Rais can fit into one of the stalls. I wonder if his hooves will get caught in the gutter.
I have lost count of the days of cold, biting wind, at least it is not raining. I wonder about the electricity, if it is someone who turns it off, as in misguided kindness, feeling they are saving someone money. Or, is it the person who wanted to rent the field and plant a vegetable garden and now they cannot.
At least now I will be in practice to dress well for my painting class in the old farmhouse near Viterbo. I must make sure I have paint and brushes. I wonder where my watercolour pad is, the one with the sketch of the study that I am supposed to be painting from.
Matisse has disappeared, all is very quiet. I will look for him. Here he is stretched out behind me clawing the back of the sofa. I would not mind so much if he scratched at the old chair. Did he, I wonder, hear me thinking about where he was?
Roberto tells me I must not move for ten years. With a jolt I realise I will be 60. In two years I will be the same age my mother was when she had her stroke.
Tuesday 28 January
I have cleaned the bedroom, bathroom, studio and living room. Today I will clean the kitchen. I am only sweeping, although I did a rapid clean of the bathroom, so that the first impression is not of cat paw prints everywhere.
Vincenzo called and said the contract is ready for the house, and would I take him to Pisciarelli after because he has things to do. I delivered another load from the old house. On the road I pass Claudio and stop and talk, then Judith my new neighbour stops and chats to me. She invites me for coffee and makes a sandwich, two slices of bread, butter, cheese, tomato and rughetta. I needed that, plus a drink that tasted like something made of blackcurrants from my childhood. I still had the stuff in the car from my old house.
I got to the house, took one of the bags out and then saw two men whose faces I remembered but could not remember why. They were the telephone people. One is large, dark and soft and smiling. His boss, I suspect, is the short, blond one who drives the truck. They were here to check that the phone worked, which it did. Unpacked the rest of the things and have to make another call about the ADSL line.
Pat and I did not go to the art class because of the tramontana blowing. Rolando could not get the fire started to warm the studio, it is chilly there even with two fires burning.
Vincenzo came and I helped him put yet more zinc on the barn. He spoke to the man over the fence who has a tractor and will clear the field of a huge pile of junk. Later, I heard Claudio’s truck and then the phone rang, he needed me to open the gate. Claudio says he’ll send another electrician from Bracciano who also has a shop.
Vincenzo’s wife, Margarita, has asked me to pay for the previous tenant’s 51 euro for what I don’t understand, for leaving the house? This is ridiculous.
The wind has died down, it is very cold, but there was light when I got up this morning. So maybe it is as Pat says, and has to do with the wind and not that someone is turning my lights off.
Claudio fixed under the sink. He needs an elbow joint, I offered to go and get it, but he said if I went to the plumbing shop they’d send me back with the whole package and we would have to start all over again. He advised me to take the wood off the kitchen walls as he said small beasties can grow behind the wood and it is not hygienic. It is also dangerous on account of the fireplace in the kitchen.
I’ll leave the shutters open at the kitchen window and now I’ve placed the wooden step ladder on the inside so Matisse can be eye to eye with the blond cat that sits out there. Baldi is the touchable one and Jumpy the untouchable.
A beautiful day, the sun is out and the birds are singing.
Wednesday 29 January
Last night, as I was settling down after having moved things from the middle of the studio/office and my bedroom the phone rang. It was the woman from the provider of heating oil who started to scream at me about moving the huge container on the front lawn. This is surprising coming from a well-known international company. She called me twice screaming and both times I hung up on her. In the end I unplugged the phone.
Again Claudio is fixing under the sink, he could not get the electrician on any of the numbers he had been given for him. I told Claudio that I’d had this problem with him before, but Claudio says, “Yes, but if I call him he has to come”. Anyway, now the kitchen sink is fixed and I can wash dishes there.
Both little cat Matisse and I have more energy in this house. Maybe it is colder, or there are less fumes, as the water heater at the other house was inside the bathroom. Maybe I just like to step outside the house and see the horses. In the late afternoon I went out and Merry was drying off after having sweated. I wonder if the dogs had been chasing her. In some ways she may provoke them. Cherokee, the blond dog, was limping.
As I was with the horses carrying a plastic bucket of earth to fill the holes in the pasture, Judith passed and honked the car horn at me.
Thursday 30 January
Today I want to go to the hardware store in Manziana. First I need to find out where it is. I want a kilo of yellow paint, a golden yellow for the kitchen and the guest bathroom. The door in the guest bathroom needs painting.
Vincenzo was here and sent me back into the house because it was raining slightly. He told me that if it rained too much he had his driver, maybe he was referring to his wife. I think he wanted to do some things on his own in private because he left with a huge blue lumpy sack, green leaves poking out the top. He had been looking for a short-handled tool with a triangular metal blade, an adze. I wonder if it is he, and not the dogs, who digs up the ground.
Yesterday Flora and
My walk around phone does not work, I think they call it a cordless. It got killed in the move. It is dead as a door nail, maybe the batteries froze.
It is difficult to write with a cat rubbing noses with me.
Friday 31 January
I wake up filled with joy and wonder why I started to feel sad at the other place. I have bought yellow paint and a paint roller with a stick to put it on, masking tape and a drop cloth that seems to cover only one thing at a time. I should have bought a proper ladder. I wish the owners would do something about the outside, it was painted without an undercoating and the paint is stripping off.
Yesterday it hailed slush and thundered. Hail came down the chimney in the kitchen. Cold air poured into the living room because I had forgotten to close the flue in the fireplace.
With the thunder, lightening and hail, Pat called worried about my horses. I had peeked at them and they were eating contentedly. Then I went out in the hail and wet to take a look at them, they saw me and it seemed they were telling me everything was alright with them and I was not to worry. Rais bucked when thunder rolled and lightening flashed, he was not afraid. Merry trotted over and then cantered in a wide circle around me. They look lean and strong, with bellies, so now I worry about worms and what will I do with them in the summer? I must have other fields to move them to so the grass can grow back.
Matisse is a neat eater and eats the food on his plate into straight lines and interesting geometric shapes. Cats I used to know would eat from the top down. It took me a while to write the diary because Matisse had his nose in my face and wanted to sit on the page.
I am getting farmer hands, the tops of my fingers are dry.
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